Since the past few weeks I had felt there was something amiss in my life. Despite the recovery I had made from my long years of depression, it was a feeling I could not place a finger on. My progress had led me to fulfillment, but was it empty? It was as if I had got rid of most of the despondency that had been haunting me yet there was something at the back of my mind. I was not enjoying life as much I would have liked to. I was sort of holding back, not involving myself fully in fun activities either. Nothing worrisome but I would love to get back the zest in my life. That’s it: that was the missing element that I was yearning for: Zest.
I was sitting quietly introspecting on this when I noticed I was not alone..to my right was a guy wearing a Red T-Shirt with ‘Anxieties’ emblazoned over it. To my left was a man in a Green T-Shirt that read ‘Resentment’.
As I got conscious of their presence, they got closer to me, I began feeling uncomfortable and decided to get out of there. They reached out and held me firmly in a vice-like grip and just would not let go! With all my might I broke free and ran forward, only to find someone pulling me from behind by the collar of my shirt. When I swiveled around, a man in a Grey T-Shirt taunted me ‘Can’t get rid of me, can you? I’ll always be your shadow. I am your Past.’ All this was getting really stressful by now and I just managed to push him away and ran forward again.
Already drained by the struggles, yet desperate to get out of there I ran with all my energy until I bumped into this towering figure in Blue- he had ‘Doubts’ written all over him. I was overawed by his sheer size. How do I tackle this monstrous man, I said to myself, there was no way I could challenge him..or was there a way out?
I took a step back and tried to make my way around him, hesitantly at first, gradually with growing confidence. As I maneuvered my way past him, he stood his ground and surprisingly made no attempt to catch up with me- to my great relief!
Once I had run for a few hundred yards, I realised what was happening: I was energised and found myself running with abandon on the grassy plains. The undulating slopes were inviting and I ran uphill, surprisingly, without feeling tired at all. There was a sense of exhilaration having got rid of my bugbears and I was celebrating this new found freedom.
By now I had reached the top a small hill with a breathtaking view all around it. Shut my eyes and felt the cool breeze enveloping me. The only sound was the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves.
Then, I felt a soft hand holding my right hand.
A stunningly beautiful woman with an equally beautiful smile had appeared out of nowhere!
Who are you, I stammered…
‘I am Joy’, she replied softly and embraced me. It was a feeling I had never experienced before.
‘You have been through a lot’ She said and kissed me gently. We made love..the ecstasy I felt was incredible..
I remained in this trance for a while. When I opened my eyes and looked around she had disappeared. “Where are you. Joy’ I called out.
‘I am inside you and a part of you now’ a voice told me. ‘Cherish me, and never, ever let your enemies walk in again’
The release and empowerment I felt is with me even now.
Do you feel the beautiful, stunning, Joy in yourself too?